Time to Waste

Have you ever broken anything? If not, then consider yourself lucky, if you have, then you know what I'm talking about...kinda. So I didn't exactly break my ankle, I just sprained it really badly. And I'm super pissed off about it. How did I manage to do that? Well, I was walking down the stairs and I didn't think that there were any steps left, but there was so I tripped and fell. The stupid part is that I had just spent my entire day in heels and this happened while I was wearing my boots. This happened on Thursday, it's now Wednesday and it still hurts. So obviously I stayed home from school Friday, which in all honesty broke my heart because we were going to a hockey game in the morning and I had history class in the afternoon. I was really sad about missing that. Saturday was torture, pure hell. I sat around and did nothing all day, people were constantly asking me if I was ok and trying to figure out if I should go to the hospital. I kept insisting that it was just sprained. I honestly do not have time or energy for my ankle to be broken. So to prove my point I started walking on it on Sunday. I went to school on Monday even though my mom told me not to. I just had to be stubborn and go. It hurt but I got through it. I went again yesterday, but the second day is always worse than the first. I got home and my ankle was almost just as swollen as it was on the day that it happened and y entire lower leg was a little swollen too. I didn't tell my mom when she got home from work around 7:30. My grandma however was freaking out and told my mom. My grandma was so sure that it was broken, she's such a pessimist! Anyways, my mom called the hospital and found out that the wait time in the emergency room was between 5 and 6 hours, which is nothing since the average time is between 12 and 14 hours. So at 10 we set out for a sleepless night. I was pissed, I knew that my ankle wasn't broken and I wanted to go to school the next day, I didn't wanna stay up all night just to be told something that I already knew. It was a long night, I was bored and tired and my ankle was swollen and it hurt. I wanted to go home and sleep so that I could go to school the next day. I bitched and snapped at my mom for dragging me to the emergency room and then telling me to try and sleep. Like I could seriously sleep there. We waited for two hours in the general waiting room, then we were lead to the actually hospital part of the hospital to a smaller waiting room. I waited there for another hour before I got to see a doctor, who sent me back to the waiting room to wait to take my x-ray. It was another hour till I actually went and took my x-ray. 15 minutes later we were told that it was just sprained and it's gonna get worse before it gets better. The first thing I told my mom was "I told you so!". I limped out of the hospital at 2:30 and didn't get home until 3. Once again my mom asked me if I wanted to stay home, I said no since I had history today. I had already missed one class because of my stupid ankle I wasn't gonna miss another. However I did want some sleep and asked my mom if she could drive me in time for third period, science. My entire day was off, until I walked into history for sixth period. As soon as I walked in, I knew that being this tired was worth it and that I had made the right choice by coming to school. There's not really a point to this post, nothing meaningful or interesting. I'm just venting out some emotions since I have nothing better to do since I'm not allowed to do anything other than go to school and come home until my ankle heals. Which hopefully is soon because I can't stand to be forced to sit around a do nothing, I rather sit around and do nothing out of my own will.

Inspiration....

Inspiration...it's a funny word, don't you think? The dictionary is telling me that it's an action of an inspired thing, but I think it's much more than that. It has to be, some people build lives off of inspiration. I think it's safe to say that in the past few months I've had a lot of inspiration, from one person in particular. I wish I could say it's from my mom or my dad or my grandma or my older sister (if I even had one), but it's not. Lately, my history teacher has been inspiring me day in and day out. It's crazy, cause I don't even think he knows my name. But since September, he's made such a difference in my life, and I think I should be sharing this with you because, everyone needs to be inspired from someone, right? So first of all, it might just be because I love history, but I'm pushing myself academically harder than I ever have before, and I think it's because of my teacher. I think it's because he expects so much from me, it's pressure that I've never had before. I mean don't get me wrong, I've always done very good in school, but I've never had to try and push myself. I think it's cause I want to be the best in that class, and not only in the class, I wish I could be the best student he's ever had. You know, I want to be that one kid that he'll remember forever, cause I know that he'll be that one teacher that I'll always remember. Looking at where I am now, and where I want my life to go, I think I owe my future to him, I really do. Spending five months watching him teach (that sounds a little creepy, but you know what I mean) has made me realize that I can have a job that I love, and it can be in history. When he teaches, you see his eyes light up, and even though he's not smiling, you just know that he loves what he teaches. It's amazing. The other day, he was telling us, well it started out about university and ended with being happy. It started with some guy being a smart ass and telling him that he's so smart, I'm not saying he's not, cause obviously he is, but anyways, my teacher looks at this guy and goes "If I can do it, you can do it." and that got him started. He told us about how he didn't do all that well in high school, except when he loved a subject, like history, geography, social studies, politics, psychology etc. and had a good teacher then he did great. He goes "guys, when I was in high school, out of the five years that I was there, I was on the honor roll once....in ninth grade." He's telling us how different people have different ways of learning and studying and if we can just find the one that works for us, we could ace everything. He goes "You guys can have a life and still do good in school. You can play your sports, and go to work, and hang out with your friends, and spend time with your boyfriend or girlfriend, and play your video games, and ace your history tests. You just balance all of it. That's what I did, and look at where I am now." and it's true. I'll be quoting him a lot, but it's the easiest way to get my point across. Then another guy in the class goes "Oh my God, you get me!" my teacher looks at him and goes (This is gonna be like a little monologue and I'm not making up any of it, I can promise that) "Yeah! I get you guys. I was there, I know what it's like. I get you guys so much, that one day, I'm gonna write a book. It's gonna be called 'Teenagers' and it'll have all your secrets in it. Like lazyness, it's a disease that goes on in teenagers, you guys are capable of so much, but you're just too lazy to try. Oh and when I retire, I'm gonna be a comedian, can't you guys just see me as a comedian, it'll be great. Anyways, that's my retirement plan, but I'm in no rush, cause I love my job, I really do. I love getting up in the morning and coming to work because every day is a challenge, no day is ever the same. I could have a class filled with students who hate history, and my job, is to make them see why I love it so much. Why it's so much more than just dates and names and numbers and places. Why it is that to understand today, you have to go back into the past." at this point, someone interrupted him to ask a question and he goes "no, hold on, I'm on a roll. The point is, I'm happy. I have a nice house, good money and great vacations, but that would all mean nothing if I didn't love my job. You guys can do the same thing." If there was ever, ever anyone who practiced what they preached, it's this teacher. I have never been so influenced and inspired by someone. Sometimes I'll hear my mom talking, not to my face of course, about how I need to get my head out of the clouds, because there's no money in history, there's no future. I get mad, I get sad, I get frustrated, but then I just think back to everything that my history teacher's taught me, not just about history, but about life, cause he does that a lot, he gives a lot of life advice. And I'm listening to every bit of it. So I just think back to what he said, and I know that if he can do it, I can do it. I can have a job in history that I love and I think that as long as I'm happy that's the only thing that matters. So here some of you might say well that's great, but what about your family, you might be happy, but your kids might be starving. Well I have a simple solution for that....just don't have kids. I have absolutely no plans of getting married and having kids, I don't want to have to live my life for other people. And I can prove that you can be happy no husband, no kids cause guess what, my history teacher doesn't have kids and he's not married. I know that to some people it might look like I'm trying to be him...I'm really not cause there's no way I'd ever have the patience to be a teacher, and the no kids no husband thing's been a long time coming.

All of this to say that if anything, this year I've learnt that it's not stupid to follow my dreams, cause I can be happy by doing something that I love.

P.S. Merci M. Piquette pour m'avoir inspirée et pour m'avoir encouragée à faire ce que j'aime, et merci pour me pousser à faire le mieux que je peux.